A Death Wish (Texas Oil Book 4) Read online

  Then again, neither had she. When he’d slapped his hand on the door leading out of the restaurant, she’d retreated to the table, praying no one, especially Snake, had seen her.

  “Have it your way but we’re sticking to my plans.” She kept the demand even.

  Snake merely chuckled.

  My God, the man was maddening. Their conversation during dinner had been easy, albeit no additional mention was made of her dark cravings. He’d drawn the line in the sand as he’d intended to do. Now, she had to decide what, if anything she wanted. Rubbing her eyes, she realized she was completely out of sorts.

  When he’d parked the car, he stormed inside, as if her presence was no longer wanted. The dichotomy of the man was infuriating.

  She dropped her purse in the bedroom, contemplating getting ready for bed, but the night air and now calm waters called to her. She was far too out of sorts to sleep. What had she gotten herself into? For a few seconds, she thought about calling her contact, but from this moment on, she wanted nothing to do with him. The thought was riveting. Free from another tether, noose around her neck. He’d been a source for relieving pain, the kind neither alcohol or food had soothed. Now, Snake. A man who knew far too much about her yet not enough to understand the constant terror. She had to be losing her mind.

  He was nowhere to be seen as she grabbed another glass of wine and headed outside, walking down the back stairs and onto the beach. The sand between her toes, the light breeze was invigorating, quieting the demons bursting at the seams.

  Snake had allowed her to speak about her father, something she almost never did. Even when a tenacious reporter asked her questions, grilling her on her knowledge regarding the oceans, she shied away from allowing them to know her entire background. She’d been proud of her father when she was a small child, looking up to him with reverence.

  But his actions toward her mother, cold and insensitive had created hostility between then, forcing her to choose between her mother and father. Her decision had been made one terrible night, during a wretched storm that she’d never forget. Everything after that had been too difficult to face, driving her into a different place in her mind, allowing her imagination to grow.

  Even her beloved ocean life, dolphins and sharks, had been unable to provide any comfort. That’s when she’d turned to aspects she believed she could control in her life – the law. Preventing those who were innocent from going to jail. Then something had gone terribly wrong. Prosecuting vicious criminals had been a mistake.

  She held her arm as she walked closer to the water, sipping the wine. Nothing could have given her insight as to the occurrence that had left her almost entirely broken. There were no answers to questions that continued to rattle her mind, provide her with nightmares when she least expected them. She swallowed hard as she stood by the water, allowing the foam to crawl across her feet. Tingles trickled down her spine and the back of her legs and she had to wonder whether it was because of her past or because of Snake’s words.

  Either way, she was ill equipped to handle them. She’d worked too long and hard to shove away remnants of her past, including her father and his hold over her. What few knew was how controlling he was, dominating in a manner that required obedience from both she and her mother. If he’d been home more often, there was no doubt her mother would have divorced him. Instead, the proud and amazing woman had endured.

  Katherine studied the moon, the way the clouds shifted in beautiful formations over the glowing surface. She could still dream, preferring her imagination to real life. Holding up the glass, she knew she was a product of her father’s harsh tactics, allowing her to become formidable. Yes, her work ethics were a mirror image. And now this. “Here’s to you, Daddy. May you rot in hell.”

  “He can’t hurt you any longer.”

  The huskiness of his voice, the way in which he made the statement gave her butterflies in her stomach. “Words said out of frustration.”

  “Words said because you want nothing more than to be free from memories of the pain inflicted.” Snake kept his tone of voice low and even.

  “How do you know he hurt me?”

  “Because you refuse to be yourself.” Snake didn’t break the line of sight or attempt to come too close. He stood in the background, allowing her the comfort of knowing he wasn’t going to push.

  Exhaling, she had no idea what to say but the statement was true enough. “He wasn’t able to control his moods, his anger and took it out on my mother and myself. A brilliant man who lost his very soul trying to find reasons to remain viable. In the end, he was a broken man, stripping everything good out of our family.”

  “Don’t let his actions define you. If you do, you’ll never find happiness.”

  “And what do you know about happiness?” Katherine heard the challenge in her voice. Why she felt the need to lash out was beyond her.

  A slow breath escaped his mouth. “Don’t judge me, Katherine. I’ve lived several lifetimes, made horrific choices. There is no denying that fact. But what you think about me, whatever data you were given doesn’t tell the entire story. I found happiness once, but I lost everything that mattered to me. Everything.” He very slowly walked in her direction, his body tense, his breath sounds husky.

  “Snake.” He leaned down, his face and lips so close that she parted her lips, waiting for his kiss. Her heart thumping, she closed her eyes, every part of her body shaking.

  “And before you ask, what happened is entirely my fault, a damning decision that I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.”

  She heard the resignation in his voice, the profoundness of the meaning. There was no sound, but she knew he was walking away. “Wait. I’m sorry. Please don’t go. I’m not trying to pry.” When he said nothing, she turned around. He’d walked several additional feet down the beach, his hand in his pocket, his stance prone.

  This was uncharacteristic of her, but she was alone with a man she barely knew in one of the most gorgeous places on earth. Perhaps they’d shared too many aspects of their life. Holding her breath, she started to walk back to the villa then knew exactly what she wanted to do. Her strides long, her breath stolen, she closed the distance until she flanked his side. “I don’t know why I feel this way around you, electric and so very alive. There’s no rhyme or reason to what I’m thinking but I do know what I want.”

  He tipped his head toward the sky, remaining quiet.

  “Maybe you do understand,” she whispered, her heart racing. “Maybe you don’t want to, but you do. We’re alike, you and I.”

  Snake didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge.

  “Damn it, Snake.” Touching his arm, she walked around him. Then she tugged, craving any kind of reaction. “I’m asking. No, I’m begging.”

  Inhaling, he yanked her into his arms.

  Startled, she dropped the wine glass, a single whimper pushing past her lips. “Oh, God, yes, I’m asking.”

  He fisted her hair, jerking back her head, forcing her to look into his eyes. Grunting, he crushed her mouth with his, immediately thrusting his tongue inside. He rubbed her back, cupping her ass, his fingers squeezing, digging in. His actions were primal, as if he refused to hold back any longer.

  Moaning into the kiss, she pressed the flats of her hands against his shoulders, remaining tense, but her pussy clenched, tingling and wet. She was alive, a rush of energy as well as adrenaline thwarting her rationality, pushing back any concept of fear of the unknown. This amazing, powerful man had broken the chains of steel.

  Dipping her back, he ground his groin against her belly as the kiss became savage, his mouth and teeth gnashing against hers, his tongue entwining with hers.

  Letting go, she fell into the moment of passion, her nipples aching, her body trembling from his touch. Every cell was on fire, every muscle straining for more as electricity coursed through her body. She wanted nothing more than to succumb to this man, to endure whatever pain or pleasure he desired, to give him the woman he so des
perately needed.

  Snake growled when he broke the kiss, his mouth sliding across her lips to her cheek then down the length of her neck. Biting down, he held the stance, his tongue dragging back and forth across her skin.

  Katherine gripped his arms, her fingers digging into his shirt. She was trembling, the wind flicking across her skin, creating static, goosebumps. As he lifted the back of her dress, rubbing his hand along her naked buttocks, she rose onto her tiptoes and held the back of his neck. He was all muscular, his body carved, his cock throbbing against her.

  Sliding his finger up and down the crack of her ass, he wiggled the tip between the folds of her ass cheeks, finding her dark hole.

  Allowing a slow breath to escape, she opened her legs, the offer blatant. She was wet and hot all over, pussy juice trickling into her already soaked thong.

  He licked down to her collarbone then used his teeth to pull away at the bodice of her dress, exposing her nipple. The single sound was a primitive growl, a call of ownership.

  “Snake…” The word was husky, and she felt lightheaded, her pulse racing until she could see nothing but stars in front of her eyes. This was so incredible, so unexpected. Tensing, the moment he pushed his finger into her asshole, her legs threatened to give away. When he added a second finger, then a third, pushing deeper inside, her head lolled, she panted. Please. Take me. Fuck me. Use me. Her mind was swirling, thoughts racing back and forth, but there was something wrong, a tenseness creeping into her system. Please. Don’t. The same thing that happened almost every time.

  After swirling the tip of his tongue around her nipple, he sucked, pulling the tender flesh between his teeth. He flexed and finger-fucked her asshole, thrusting in and out. Then seconds later, he pulled away, breaking the hold.

  “What?” Struggling to remain standing, she had no idea what he was doing. She tottered forward, catching herself before pitching to the sand. “Wait. What did I do wrong?”

  “Ask me for what you want,” he growled, the sound low and throaty. “This has to be your choice alone.”

  “I did.” Then she realized that she hadn’t said the words, she hadn’t allowed him to know what she was thinking. Her brain muddled, she tried to find the right words.

  Snake held up his hands and nodded before walking toward the house, his long legs pumping.

  Sucking in her breath, she knew he would end this before anything happened if she didn’t completely let go, allow him to take full and utter control over her. This was the most difficult thing she’d done in so very long. To be free, to be the woman desperately begging for release would take the ultimate trust, the kind she was no longer certain she had.

  But she did what she had to do, what she’d wanted to experience in so very long. She ran after him. “Wait.”

  Stopping immediately, his breathing remained ragged, his chest heaving.

  “I want…” God, this was so difficult. Years of bullshit. Years of being pinned under her father’s thumbs. Decades of doing the right thing, pretending she was somebody else. She was no longer that woman.

  “Katherine. This is your decision. I’m not your enemy nor will I be a man you remember with hatred, loathing. I respect you too much to break you. But if you ask, you will follow my rules, my command. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  He closed his eyes.

  “Yes, sir I do.” This was insane. This was ridiculous. This was… everything she’d ever wanted. All the pent-up desires, all the variations of the same woman came crashing together. “I want nothing more than to succumb to you. I want to feel the harsh moment of punishment, the requirement of obedience. I want to please you.” The words lingered, hovering around her as if in a vacuum. She’d only muttered them to herself, her fantasies, nights spent alone. Why this man? Why now?

  Snake moved in front of her, cupping both sides of her face. “Then so be it.” Reaching down, he yanked her off the sand, cradling her against his body and kissing the top of her head. Seconds later, he walked up the set of stairs with purpose.

  Katherine fell into a moment of peace, a blissful state as she shivered from his touch, his commanding voice. She felt so small in his arms, yet empowered by his strength, his desire.

  When they were inside, he eased her onto her feet, remaining close, his massive hands rubbing down both sides of her face. “God, I want you.”

  She cupped his hands, peppering his chin and cheeks with kisses. “I want you. Whatever you’re craving.”

  “What do you need?”

  The question was enthralling, leaving her wired, desire mixing with extreme trepidation. When she spoke, she realized how much her words sounded like a little girl, asking for redemption. “I want to be accepted.”

  “And?” His eyes were nothing but blackened pools.

  “I want… no, I need to be spanked. I need discipline. I need salvation.” The answer was almost practiced, said in her mind at least a thousand times. And for a few seconds, the world seemed to stop, memories of her childhood, the way her father had punished her for any wrongdoing, forcing her to face her need for discipline, rushed to the surface.

  Nodding, he dropped his head until his lips just touched hers. “Remove your dress.” He released his hold, taking a step back.

  The request was simple yet held such meaning. Swallowing hard, her fingers were stiff as she attempted to lift her dress, dragging the material up and over her shoulders. She remained shaking as she allowed it to fall from her fingers, following the drop as if the dress was the last remaining cloak, an unveiling of the woman inside. She noticed the way he watched her every move, his mouth pinched, his chest continuing to heave up and down.

  Fumbling, she slipped her fingers under the thin elastic of her panties, sliding them down over her hips, allowing gravity to take them to the floor. Kicking them away, she folded her arms over her breasts, more embarrassed than she’d been with a man. But this was new and fresh. And, she was no longer hiding behind a veil.

  Inhaling and holding his breath, he glanced up and down, as if sizing her up, as if determining what he would do. He walked around her in a wide arc, never touching, never issuing a single word. He stopped, a huff leaving his mouth.

  He noticed. She was ugly. So very ugly. Self-conscious, she wanted to cower, knowing he had to see her scars, the recent marks and welts. Oh God! What was he going to think? That she’d been lying to him. “Snake—”

  “Sssshhh…” he interrupted, his breath skipping along the back of her neck.

  Swallowing, she clenched her fists then opened them, doing the exercise again and again.

  When he moved back in front of her, he took his index finger, tracing lines down the side of her neck, inching down the front of her arm. “You’re beautiful.”

  “No. I’m not. I’m ugly.”

  Lifting her chin with his index finger, he gave her an admonishing look. “No man could ever think of you as ugly. The woman inside is dazzling. The woman outside is perfect.”

  She was floating, hearing his words, able to sense so much about this man and what he’d endured. “Thank you.”

  Snake moved around her again, his fingers brushing across various aspects of her skin. “Discipline is required. You understand what you’ve always needed.”

  “Yes, sir.” The words slipped from her mouth, said easily as if she remained in her father’s house.

  “Then tell me again what you desire.”

  “Spank me. Whip me. Help me understand your level of obedience.” She knew what she was doing was defiant, pushing her boundaries, if not his, but in her mind, she wanted nothing more than to take risks. Reaching down, she touched his belt, fingering the buckle, caressing the supple leather. Everything was different, but so very much the same. Her father’s discipline, the spankings received almost once a week and always from his belt.

  At that moment, she was nothing more than a little girl and she knew exactly what she needed, what her psyche required. “Please spank me with your b
elt.”

  Chapter 6

  Spank me. Whip me.”

  My God. The words he’d longed to hear from someone he cared about for far too long. He was shaking, his body pumped by adrenaline. Katherine had provided the key for Pandora’s Box and there was no stopping what they’d begun. Still, he knew he had to be careful. No matter the welts covering her back, the concept that she’d always craved a firm hand, she was breakable.

  For several reasons, in Snake’s mind, he needed to be very protective of her. Not only the conversations at dinner had been revealing in a manner he hadn’t anticipated, but he’d allowed her to get close, perhaps too close. Opening up had been cathartic, freeing. Coupled with the envelope from the mysterious person who’d just happened on Pepe’s doorstep, his perception of reality had altered.

  The threat was real. Both of their lives were in danger. He’d gone soft, something that would never happen again. Think rationally. Think clearly. As if the mantra was going to help. Right now, there was nothing he could do and this woman, this amazing woman was here. With him. Breaking the mold. Breaking down his walls.

  There was no way anyone could have known where they were going. Then again, when he’d made the demand and Katherine had offered the counter, her office door had been open. The contents would no doubt be interesting, interfering with what had been initially a business proposition. Then all hell had broken lose.

  She was so vulnerable but trusting in him, in a man who could destroy her.

  Seeing her here, completely naked, her face pinched as she accepted what she’d long since wanted had changed him. This was not what he’d expected but he couldn’t do without her. This was the only woman who could alter his current path, giving him the reason to find his very soul.