A Death Wish Read online

  “There are very few people left in my life. I drove them away.” He took a gulp of his wine. “Or worse.”

  Worse. She wanted to comfort him, but he had to face this. “Worse. What could be worse than someone leaving you?”

  “It’s how they left, Katherine.”

  Crossing her legs, she scooted backwards, taking his hand into hers. “Is this about Kaylee?”

  He jerked his head in her direction, his expression moving from sadness to guilt. Then finally to anger. “What did you say?”

  She could tell her lower lip was quivering as his look moved to accusatory. “Let me explain.”

  “What the fuck. Did. You. Say?”

  “Kaylee was your wife. Is it true that you…” She was shaking, unable to finish asking the question.

  “Say it!” Snake yanked his hand out of hers. “Just say it.”

  Oh, God. Oh, God! “Is it true that you killed her?”

  Chapter 10

  Snake tossed the blanket off his shoulders as the question, the ugly question reverberated in his ears. Someone had told her. Someone had betrayed him. He could see Kaylee’s face, the way she condescended him, throwing their marriage in his face like it was a lie.

  Katherine reached out, touching his arm. “I know something horrible happened. Just talk to me, baby. Talk to me.”

  “What the fuck do you know?” Snake jerked up from the floor, his glass shattering on the mantel. Within seconds he had her wrists in his hands, yanking her to a standing position. “Who are you and what do you think you know?”

  “You’re hurting me,” Katherine hissed, jerking to get away. “Don’t do this!”

  He squeezed as the anger boiled within him until his head was killing him. Shaking, he had no idea what to think. “Tell me!”

  “Snake. It’s me. Let me go. Please. It was just a question. I’m not here to hurt you.” She smiled and gave him a single nod. “I asked because I know there’s more to this. Is this about your past? Is this the terrible guilt that’s been haunting you?”

  No! That was insane. She couldn’t know. All the rage. All the lies and secrets were crushing him, the guilt and the horror of what he’d done. “Just get away from me!” Dropping her arms, he took two long strides back, rubbing his hands on his legs.

  She took several steps toward him. “Talk to me. Tell me why Pepe was horrified to see you? Tell me why you won’t talk about your family? Tell me why you’re so terrified of letting go with me? Tell me!”

  He studied her shaking form and the way her eyes remained imploring, beseeching. Brushing his hands through his hair, he could no longer think clearly. “Leave me the fuck alone!” Storming out of the house, he bounded down the stairs and onto the beach. The wind was raging, whistling in the trees. He stumbled as he walked forward. There was nowhere to run. Who the fuck was doing this and why? Who was trying to destroy what was left of his life? There was no more running, no way he could leave this alone with her. Her! The woman he was…

  Laughing, he hunkered down on the sand, running his fingers back and forth as the waves crashed against the shore. He couldn’t love her. Hell, loving her would mean ending her life. He was lucky Logan was still alive. After this? After allowing himself to come here?

  “Damn it!” He threw his head back and screamed, forcing all the emotion, the rotting of his soul to escape. There was no turning back the clock, no way to fix the horrific wrongs. None.

  “I’m not going away. You can push me, but I’ll come back.” Her scream could be heard over the roar of the surf, the torrential rain.

  He stiffened when he heard her voice. “You need to get away from me.”

  “Not until you tell me why. I won’t go, Snake. I won’t. I’m not fragile. I’m not going to break and I’m not going to walk away from you, no matter what you tell me. I refuse. I care… I care too much about her.” Her voice trailed off, pain uttered in every word.

  Rubbing his eyes, the torture would never go away. He jerked to his feet, his body shaking and towered over her, walking them both back to the house.

  She stood her ground and pushed, slamming her hand against his chest. “You will not do this! You wanted me to tell you all my desires, allow the woman inside to be free? Well, buddy, take your own advice. Tell me what happened and why your tragedy is worth all the years of guilt and why someone believes you’re responsible.”

  Bam!

  The crack of thunder was followed by a series of lightning strikes and he could barely see given the rain. “How did you find out?”

  “I had someone tell me. Okay? They were trying to keep me away from you, but that’s not going to happen. I love you. I. Love. You.”

  Snake looked up toward the sky then headed back toward the house, taking long strides.

  “Tell me why your back is riddled with scars. What happened to you?” She raced to keep up with him, blocking his path before he could head up the stairs. She was shivering, her body blown around from the wind. She struggled to remain standing. “What? Who hurt you?”

  He shook his head and pushed her away, taking the stairs two at a time. “I can’t.”

  “You mean you won’t.” She rushed up behind him, pulling his arm. “Trust me.”

  His instinct was to blow her off, to fold into the same black box he’d placed himself in years ago, but this woman and what she already meant to him was far too disturbing, breaking the chains, shattering his resolve.

  Katherine moved to face him and took his face into her hands. “Snake, please.”

  Shaking from the increased rage, he could see such love in her eyes, something he never thought he’d experience again. Why? Why did she have to give a damn? He thought about Kaylee and the last time they’d been together, the beautiful moments shared, the precious memories. Even Logan had never heard the entire story. He pulled her inside and panted, his chest heaving up and down. “Kaylee was my wife. She was the love of my life.”

  “Okay.” She wiped her face, pulling the hair out of her eyes. “Stay. I’m getting the blanket.”

  He didn’t want her comfort, didn’t need her love or her… What a fool you are. The words were so damn true. As she wrapped the blanket around him then grabbed her robe, he dropped his head.

  “Baby, please. Talk to me. Whatever is going on, we can get through this, but only if we are together. I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know who’s threatening you, terrifying you, but you can’t do this alone any longer.”

  There was no avoiding the past any longer. And so, he began to talk.

  “I met Kaylee when I was on leave from the Marines. She was Logan’s best friend. I’d heard about her, but I’d never met her. The moment Logan introduced me, I was floored. I knew that she and I would be together, but I had no understanding of her relationship with Logan. You should have seen the way he used to look at her. I left and almost a year later, I resigned my position and headed home. By that point, my father was dying, and I had to make a choice, so I stayed on the ranch, determined to make a go of it. She came back into my life.”

  “What happened?”

  “We fell in love. She and Logan had dated for a few months and broke it off, but I know I hurt him terribly when we started to date. Logan and I didn’t speak for several years, but life seemed to move on. Kaylee and I got married and I adored her. She wanted to become my submissive, although she could never understand my dark needs. Still, everything was perfect. I finished college, we moved into the ranch and we were happy.”

  “What happened?”

  Snake walked toward the fireplace, placing his hand on the mantel. “Tragedy. My past came back to haunt me.”

  “What past? What happened when you lived here?”

  He laughed bitterly. “I was involved with a drug cartel.”

  “Oh shit. The girl you told me about.”

  Nodding, he hadn’t realized how many of the details he’d ignored until now. “Trust me, not my choice at first, but she asked for my help one time an
d after accepting, after being a stupid fucking and very greedy kid, I was unable to leave the organization. The Mexican Mafia has tough rules that I never understood.”

  “Jesus.” She settled in beside him.

  “Yeah, there isn’t a day that I don’t think about my decision. Her father ruled the organization. El Jefe. Bastard. I was young and stupid, and fell in love with a dark and kinky girl. Everything was different then, especially on the islands. I was living in a shack and suddenly there was money, the ability to purchase things. We were all drinking buddies and I had a good time. I had no idea what I was involved in until I witnessed one of my friends beat a man almost to death.” He could sense she wasn’t horrified, merely curious.

  “You were a kid.”

  “I was a kid but that’s no excuse for keeping quiet. Yeah, they had everyone in town terrified. No one would lift a finger to do anything against them. They were murderous thugs and nothing more. El Jefe ruled with an iron fist. His men tortured people for not paying their exorbitant fees on time, let alone stealing or any other deed that didn’t suit them. They killed men and women, even burning down a small village on another island. They had no real enemies and the United States government couldn’t do a thing. I guess since we weren’t in America, what happened didn’t seem real to me. I went along with my requirements, although I was never asked to inflict bodily harm, merely act as a stand by, and I was paid very well for what little I did. After almost a year, I couldn’t take it any longer. I began planning to leave. They found out and whipped me until I couldn’t move and didn’t for over a week.”

  “Fucking assholes. How did you get away?” She shivered, her mouth going slack.

  “By enlisting in the Marines. I planned the operation for two months and climbed onto a boat. I’d used an assumed name on the islands, so my father couldn’t find me. When I enlisted under my real name, I never looked back, thinking I could get away from the monsters. You bet I looked over my shoulder but after a few years, I didn’t think I had to worry any longer. I heard that most of the members of the mafia had been arrested or killed in various raids and I remained quiet, living my life as a normal human being.”

  “So how is Kaylee involved?”

  “I wasn’t careful enough. Seems the remaining members, and I still don’t know who they are, wanted to settle the score. They found me living on the ranch. They threatened me and at first, I didn’t take it seriously. Then we started receiving phone calls. I was terrified. I eventually had to tell Kaylee about my other life. She was mortified, and I don’t blame her. She left me. As she should have. She went to stay with Logan, but that wasn’t enough to keep her safe.” The raw emotions rushed into his mind, memories and visions and he was unable to breathe.

  “Shh… It’s okay. I’m right here.” Katherine wrapped her arm around him.

  Dropping his head, he could still see Kaylee’s face. “She was so beautiful and so innocent. I was so fucking stupid. So damn careless. She wouldn’t listen to me about the continued threat. I begged her to go and stay with her mother until I could figure out what was going on, but she refused. Kaylee was one bold woman, the kind that would fight a bull with her bare hands.” He wiped his eyes and breathed out. “Anyway, nothing happened for two months. I even thought my fears had been just that, fears, but one day when I got home, one of the steers had been slaughtered, his heart ripped out and left on my doorstep with a note. You can’t run from your past.”

  Katherine exhaled. “Oh, Snake.”

  Tears rolled down his face and no matter how quickly he wiped them away, they continued to fall. “She refused to take my calls, refused my warnings. After the night with the steer, I jumped in the truck and headed to Logan’s house, but it was too late. She’d… Oh, God!”

  Rubbing his back, she stayed close. “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. Don’t you see? They killed her. One shot, a single shot as she was driving, and she wrecked the car. She… She died at the scene. That’s the very day my world fell apart, the very day I had a death wish.”

  “There was nothing you could have done.”

  “Nothing?” He jerked his head in her direction. “Don’t you see? I killed her. I killed my wife and…” Sucking in his words, he shook his head and took several steps away from her. “That’s why you need to leave as soon as you can.”

  “Even if I wanted to go anywhere, that’s not going to happen right now,” Katherine whispered. “Besides, nothing you’ve said terrifies me, at least any more than this monster coming after me. Jesus. We are sitting ducks.”

  Snake could only nod, numb from telling her.

  “Pepe warned you the other night. Didn’t he?”

  “He did. Poor guy was petrified. Someone has been looking for me.” Growling, he slammed his hand on the mantel. “When the storm breaks, we’re getting you out of here. You will follow my demand.”

  “No. I won’t go.”

  “If what I believe is true, they will kill you in order to get to me.” Snake gave her a heated look.

  “What did Pepe tell you?”

  “Just that someone had dropped by several months ago, looking for me.”

  “That could be anyone,” she insisted.

  “Listen to me. These people are monsters. Don’t you understand?” When she shook her head, he ripped off his shirt, turning around. “Take a good look at my back. You’re right. I spent a hell of a lot of money to hide these scars. Do you have any idea what they did to me? Do you understand? They beat me for fifteen hours. Fifteen. The scars you feel on my back are nothing in comparison to what they… To what else they did. They. Will. Kill. You.” He wanted her terrified. He wanted her protected.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Hissing, he walked into the kitchen and turned on the light, studying the gun. He heard her footsteps. “Katherine. I think someone is still on this island. If they are, we’re in danger. I was stupid to allow us to come here. You were right. I should have refused to allow us to get on that flight. Stupid. What the fuck was I thinking?”

  “You were thinking you had control over your life. I understand. The exact way I feel. Why is someone threatening me? Why can’t they just leave me alone. If Ramone is out of prison, then I will never have a safe night. Not one. He hunted me, stalked and mocked me, sending me roses every damn day. I have no idea how he was able to since he was behind bars. But when he escaped, I knew he was coming to finish what he’d started.”

  “Ramone isn’t free.” He could see her reaction the instant he issued the statement.

  Katherine fell against the counter. “How the fuck do you know?”

  “I made some calls. I wanted to know for certain what we are dealing with. He’s never getting out of prison. Whoever told you this was trying to scare you.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Neither do I.”

  Her face twisted. “Nothing is making any sense. You. The calls. The warnings.”

  “I know what I told you was too much to take. I’ll understand if you never want to see me again.”

  She rubbed her arms and closed her eyes. “Did you really think I was going to run away from you?”

  “I haven’t told anyone. Logan only knows a portion of the story. By all rights, I should be in jail. Why the hell wouldn’t you run?”

  “What did you actually do that could be considered criminal activity?”

  Snorting, he shook his head. “Guilt by association is enough, Katherine and given that I’ve told you this story, you have an obligation to turn me in.”

  Katherine opened her mouth as if realizing what he said was true. “My guess is that whatever you’ve done that could be considered a crime, the time to prosecute has expired.”

  “Not if my association could be connected to any of the murders.” There was so much more he needed to tell her, but the end of the story was one he wasn’t ready to face, especially if his family was in danger.

  Groaning, she placed her hand
over her face. “Well, I’m not turning you in. You’ve lived a good life from what I can tell.”

  Snake laughed. “You have no idea, even with all the information you found out about me.”

  “I’m a damn good judge of character!” she snapped then looked away. “I refuse to turn you in for something that has no new evidence, no recent activity.”

  “Then you could be disbarred.”

  “Then so be it.” Her look continued to be defiant.

  “You are as stubborn as you are beautiful.”

  “And you have no idea about me.” A slight smile crossed her face. “Oh, Snake. That took such courage to tell me. Thank you. You trusted me enough.”

  He held his breath and wiped away the remaining tears. “The worst moment of my life was knowing that I hadn’t been able to save her.”

  Sliding her hand under the blanket, she caressed his chest. “I can’t even imagine the loss and I’m so sorry. I just…”

  “We have to get through this night. That’s the only thing I can worry about right now.” He felt like they were in a tomb. While there were only two ways at this point of entrance, the storm would cover up any noise if the asshole tried to break in.

  “Maybe you can tell me what Pepe said, but first, I have to ask you a question.” She hesitated, her lower lip quivering.

  “Ask. At this point, I have little to hide.” Yet his skin crawled, his heart racing.

  “What about the time you spent on the oil rig, the one that had the significant spill, the one you knew so much about?”

  Another surprise. “Fuck. Whoever you hired to dig into my life certainly did their job.” His tone of voice was filled with disgust.

  “I had to know who I was dealing with!” Her voice exasperated, she looked away and rubbed her eyes. “I thought initially you might be here to thwart my investigation into Rush Enterprises, lie for them. Shit, they’re planning to build a brand-new rig. I had my reasons for finding out everything I could about you.”

  Blip!

  As the lights went out, thrusting them into complete darkness, the same eerie set of sensations rocketed down his spine. “I’ll get some candles. There are two flashlights in the drawer by the stove. You should put some clothes on. It’s going to be a long ass night.” He grabbed the gun, fingering the cold steel.